Daily Star

And the Daily Star has a slightly different focus. It says it has bought a planet to prevent Armaggedon.

The Daily Star pictures the PM and his adviser Dominic Cummings on its front page, against a backdrop of the setting from children’s TV programme Teletubbies. Responding to suggestions that the government did not see the testing crisis coming, the paper says: “Perhaps they should check their eyesight”. It refers to Mr Cummings, who said he went for a drive during lockdown to test his eyesight after suffering vision problems with coronavirus.

The Daily Star’s top story is on serial killer Dennis Nilsen, whose story has been dramatised and is being aired this week. The paper says Nilsen once said his dog knew when he had killed someone, saying: “She could see it was not the real Des.”

The Daily Star depicts Mr Hancock and Prime Minister Boris Johnson as clowns as it describes the testing system as a “circus”. It reports on comments by health chiefs who have said the backlog in testing has led to NHS workers being forced to miss work. Using a speech bubble from Mr Hancock’s mouth, the paper mocks the government’s latest response, suggesting ministers are blaming the sick for using up all the tests.

The Daily Star looks ahead to the forecast of more hot weather this week, saying the “late blast of summer sunshine” makes Britain hotter than the island of Hawaii. The paper also mentions Monday’s news that astronomers are considering the possibility of life on the planet Venus – something it describes as a “jolly exciting discovery”.

The Daily Star reckons new COVID marshalls could be “laughing stocks”.

And the Daily Star leads on a “revelatory” poll “sure to devastate tightwads”. It has got its hands on a list of names of “stingy pubgoers” – that is, those who are supposedly most likely to shirk their turn to buy a round in the pub. “Are you on the list? See inside,” the paper teases.

The Star says it was able to save Wagon Wheels and Jammie Dodgers for readers, amid a workers’ strike.